A Mystiic-All Daydream

Take 3 deep breaths… 3 that signifies the trinity… the ONE force of creation! Visualise your-SELF in a conversation… with the rest of the world. It is time to tell the story of your LOVE!

Oh! We met when I was 37, in GOA! If I look back, I remember, the many moments of co-incidence, the many years and the many people I had to meet before I could meet someone and “feel” in love.

A series of dots that led me to meeting him… felt Divinely Guided… and so special. A whole three days of being with him and I knew it in my heart… this is WHO I wanted to be  with for the rest of my living years… I felt the love I felt the spirit of being ONE, I think the most important FEELING was the comfort and hypnotic effect of “stay with me” and “trust me” and as I looked in those big droopy twinkling eyes, I “felt” comfortable and safe and very very very “at home”. This is where I was meant to be… with him.

The funny thing… I needed to run home and share this excitement… in a way… I had to personally tell my mom about finding the man I wanted to grow old and senile with… I forgot, quite honestly, to ask him, if he felt the same way too! I could just feel it in his voice that he wished I would stay… didn’t want me to leave or say “Goodbye”… As I look back now though… it just had to happen this way… or rather it happened this way… and without our real knowing, God was upto something… something very very special… he wanted us to know most within ourselves if “this was ME”! Did I really want this man or was in on the back of a rebound… oh I forgot to tell you… that the day I met him… I also met my Ex-Boyfriend… for whom I came to GOA in the first place… well the less said the better… He turned out to be “the sign” that led me to meet the “Salvation of the Cross” and my own personal “endless love”.

Just when I felt like I had lost “love” … endless love found me held me and loved me to submission to the divine plan of our meeting in the first place. God Always has a PLAN ME Winking smile

Anyway… 2 months passed and the conversation kinda died down… he chose to say “finish this” broke my heart… yet, somewhere I didn’t quite believe it was possible that this feeling be over… over for me… NO. Over for him? I didn’t really want to believe it, then again… I had to hold on to the LOVE I felt when we met and that is the only way I could hold on to feeling him… even if he chose to “ignore” me… really… this was my time away from him… to make a personal decision… unlike the many times before… I was so sure of how I felt and I knew that if I could hold on to the LOVE … the LOVE would hold on to me. At 42, he was going to think like a matured man… well me… I was simply going to be a complete WOMAN with him… too much to handle and yet you want more and a lot of times… you want less. I was willing to handle his silence… only because… more than the conscious me… my heart KNEW, that this was the “SOUL CHECK”!

The last time we spoke properly… Valentine’s Day… just being wished and hearing his voice was enough for me… made me smile… Oh Yes I did want to go to Goa just to be with him… then again… I had a tiny issue… that loomed larger “NO MONEY”… was truly down to my last 500… could’ve taken a loan if I wanted… yet, maybe somewhere I had a wish… that he would send me tickets to spend Valentine’s with HIM (I just remember him saying “my dad said Never buy anyone” )… yet I felt like, he was HOPING that I would surprise him and maybe I was hoping that he would surprise ME and in the end… we both surprised each other… NEVER MET!

It was the 17th of March… our second month anniversary… I had just gotten used to be ignored by him… made my peace… knowing that the love I felt… was way stronger than the situation… I could feel my heart make peace… I could hold my love for as long as I chose… I needed to TRUST the DIVINE TIMING… I guess the bigger deal was.. “PATIENCE”… why was I pushing the pace… and it happened… he sent me a text… like always… my heart had little butterflies… It just always seems like such a wonderful wonderful feeling to see his name flash on my phone… I just smile like a dope and thank like crazy… It read “I think I love you”

One… he had spoken after a long silence… and what a way to have broken the silence my heart just couldn’t stop wanting to read it over and over again… it felt good… actually it felt BRILLIANT! The next thought… “I hope it isn’t someone playing the fool using his phone? Should I call? How should I respond to this message?”

I just message back… “I know I love you”… he called and we spoke, this time, I felt the love… in his voice… I felt the tears fill my eyes… I had to wait 2 whole months just to hear him speak  to me the way I have always always felt him speak to me in the many conversations I’ve mentally had with him… since Valentine’s.

Amazing, that the next thing he said is “let’s not waste time … lets feel in love again… I want you to take the next flight and come home to me… it has taken me a lot of thoughts a lot of thinking of you and a lot of feeling confident  to take the risk… of asking you to come and stay with me again… so, say it now… is it a YES or a NO… will you come and stay with me till we get old and wrinkled…”

I paused… I wanted to believe my ears… It was still not the marriage proposal I was thinking of or dreaming about… yet, when he spoke… I could feel every part of him pray… “I hope she says “Yes”, If she does love and trust me she will”… and I did… I said “YES”

Three days later… I packed a bag full of dreams… for a whole week in GOA… just to be with him… He did send me the tickets… just that he sent me a ONE way ticket… and that is when… “forever… begins”

Oh well… we still have those moments when we choose to ignore the other and imagine we’re single again… often… finding new ways to bump into each other and say “Stay with me tonight”… Every Friday evening, we set aside our NOW and dive into the moment we first met and knew “THIS IS WE” … oh it’s the same drama… just the songs keep changing… How amazing, to have MET the way we did and continue to celebrate meeting again each week… just to keep the LOVE and LIGHT alive and flickering… that everyone who here’s our story… knows that LOVE happens when two souls are ready to STAY WITH ME… TRUST ME… Dance with ME… till they have nothing left but to declare their WE!

Well… a romance like ours took 42 years of his being around and 37 years of me being around… and yes it was the infinite ocean… that finally played cupid… the soul:mates with the Divine… that is just our beginning… this is WE!


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