The word has been on LOOP in my conversations for the last few weeks now… So I finally decided, it was time we met… “over a couple of thoughts”.
The last time we met… it was all about my being to critical about myself… ha ha … it was fun… I was told to stop using the word “judgment” in vain… my using the very name… was enough to manifest a RELAPSE !! Judgment explained… that he’s quite addictive (Btw… judgment could be a woman too… God made all in pairs… right) .
We took a walk down memory lane… I was reminded of how, I, at one time in my life, looked around for approval… with each approval came Judgment!! It was interesting, how I allowed Judgment to take over my very soul! Always, waiting, to be judged… if I didn’t get it from the external world… the pages of my journal… reflected it!
Judgment reminded me… how I was so obsessed, till he introduced me to his twin… the nicer feeling one of the two… and the easier one to date… Observation. I smiled… knowing, that I had already done my time with Judgment… and the very fact, that I was being reminded of him… was a sign… that we needed to catch up… to see how, we now felt about our history. He wanted to know, if I had learnt… anything from our conversation then… so he asked….
“So, it’s time to REVIEW the VIEW and see what it looks like now!! It has been long… You’ve had enough time” he said “I’d like to know what you’ve managed to HOLD ON TO… from our last meeting.”
I did a quick mental review… and I realised… my fear of Judgment was now cleansed… Judgment wanted to meet me… to see if our memories, still left me… SILENT and HURT!! This time… there was SILENCE and KNOWiNG I knew, my reactions would solicit a new field of creating a JUDGMENT moment of myself and of others too!! Judgment wanted to know, if he could still entice me into SUBMISSION!! I knew better… and I knew… the most important part I had learnt, is to call Judgment… a friend… now!!
He smiled… I guess he read my thoughts…
“I am proud of the way YOU feel today. It is amazing how’ve you’ve held your own, without allowing me to break you down. Now, that is a good student.” he said. “You know, there are times, we’re called back to an experience, it is only to check if we’ve moved forward from where we were at… what are the new feelings we feel… and how we act or react to them.”
I smiled… trying not to allow JUDGMENT to influence my thoughts… well, you know how powerful he can be… and I was listening pretty AWARE… of the TEMPTATION!!
I finally found the words… “ When I met you last it was then, that you introduced me to the word OBSERVATION… your twin… Each time, I was tempted… I turned my thoughts to OBSERVATIONS instead… he’s been my best friend. We hang out regularly… my thoughts haven’t changed… nor have my fears. Yet when I see it with OBSERVATION its easier to accept. I have also learn to OBSERVE longer… to learn to love.”
I smiled, I had spoken, without fear. Judgment smiled… left me a note… excused himself and left!!
Maybe we ought to meet with Judgment, that we may meet Observation!! May we make friends with Observation… that we may not have the urge to Judge ourselves or our lives or the many lives that draw us to Judgment again!!
We may date many different energies right through our lives… How we date them.. is clearly upto us!!
- What happens when I give up judgment? (eliseonlife.wordpress.com)
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