Have you felt that niggling feeling, that even though, everything is seemingly right… there is a feeling… that something is wrong… and like hunters, we begin looking for what is wrong… and lo and behold… before we know it… there is a strange sense of “calm before the storm” … we find what’s wrong. The very act of finding what’s wrong, keeps us looking for that “something is wrong” feeling again!! Couldn’t I have chosen a different trigger!!
Sounds familiar doesn’t it
“wrong” was what was wrong with me… my choice of “thought to follow” was wrong… nothing more, nothing less than just that… or so I have come to understand … thankfully, in time, to truly start figuring out, “what was right with me” instead.
I look back at some of the thoughts that preceded the “something is wrong” awareness… my top 6 why and so I’s of choices:
a) There were certain people, who influenced me. They made me aware of the “wrong” so strongly, that I forgot what was right. Just had to delete their opinions and form some of my own… rebellion says… they taught me how to oppose in a positive way
b) Reading too much into what “needed to be corrected” only made me focus on what was incorrect and so, I had a longer list of the latter. I began to speed read My definition… well… checking with my feelings… the intensity of what I felt in the situation… and going with my instinct on what next … the follow through… was the “deal maker”… your answers to yourself are the best way to assess the “way forward”… also, look at both stories… look for what is “right” and begin telling the story again… from, the “right” perspective
c) My expectations of ME… were far higher than my ability to trek… so, at a place called a plateau I took a break… and sang “que sera sera… what will be will be” and allowed myself the leisure of accepting, that my expectations only gave me the “big picture view” it wasn’t a MUST DO… it became a “LET’s DO”. My expectations told me what I can do… I only had to wait for my gut to tell me WHEN
d) There will always be puddles… these are the situations that are seemingly WRONG… not all of them are SINKING sand!! Seeing a puddle didn’t mean JUMP in to find out!
e) There will always be “wrong” way to do a “right” thing… then again… who decided that? I learnt that too many opinions cause “action paralysis”… try it first let the action determine the right or wrong of it… either way there is something to learn.
f) “Wrong” is “Grown” differently… oops! So, I took a chance with still being like a child… a child is never wrong… for they know no wrong, they only see what they want to… and to them… what they see is always right… choosing not be a grown up… the best decision ever Keeping the child alive… a gift… so I now, turn to “daddy” in heaven… I get what I need… and sometimes what I greed… all a loving gift!! Keeps me trusting and thirsting for my dreams to come true… and my life is witness… THEY DO!!
I am all RIGHT in being ME
That is when I realised… something new… something true for me… and maybe for you too!!
The only wrong… that ever was… if there was a wrong at all… with me!! Was the time or the times… I didn’t follow what I always instinctively knew to be right. My successes, each one of them… have been driven by instinctive knowing. Its like there is whole inner system that communicates to me through my senses… they KNOW what I need, where to find it, when to find it!! It’s like an entire army of angels inside me… creating the wonderful challenges I keep finding along the way… ( and words aren’t finding meaning… in what I really want to say… all I feel is blessed… right now)
So, at the end of it all… there’s a place that is special… heaven is a gift and life is but the unwrapping of it!! My wrong, now grown to the right I own… by simply accepting the gift… ME!!
and… there it returns… that familiar feeling… “something is wrong” with this post too… ha ha ha… it just won’t give up… will it… I am making a choice to post in anyway!! Instinct says, the work of this post is DONE, it is RIGHT… it’s meant to TRIGGER a thought for the reader… “keep it open… let it evolve… that is what is RIGHT!!
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